– Which one do you use? – one of my female friends asked me on chat, just after I had written on my wall that my son had helped me with choosing guys on a dating app.
– Tinder. But it’s more for sex not for dating.
– Because I think I’m ready…
She was 47, with two children, divorced for a few years. She was doing great without her ex. The husband had had to be kind of stifling, and in the end he had left her for some younger woman.
– I set 50+ on a browser and it turned out they were seniors… But my ex left me for a girl who was 13 years younger than me, so I should search among guys who are 13 years older than me…
– Noooooo! No way! You do it wrong. Set 32 – men’s age was a topic I got always excited about. I had to mention about my drive forward younger men during every conversation like this. And about young men’s passion for older women.
Her answer was: “hahahahaha”.
The next one who thinks it’s a joke. Do you think it is a joke too?
So, it is not, my Dears. It is not a joke at all.
I divorced also a few years ago. I fell in love with a younger men. He was 13 years younger than me. But he didn’t see us as a couple, only as lovers. Because biology was pushing us into each other’s arms (guys in their 20s and women about 40 have similar needs), and I was pushed by love in addition, the temperature of our relation was high for about 7 years. And at the end he started a relationship with a girl his age, they even started living together…
Frankly I was a little devastated that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, and that saying nothing he started the relationship with someone else. But I pushed away this feeling very quickly. And I fell in love with another guy very fast. Also younger. This time 10 years. Unfortunately he wasn’t interested in older women. His ex-fiancé could be my daughter… It should had been a signal for me, but it wasn’t. True love doesn’t look at numbers in ID, does it? But this time it did look. Realizing this I had to do something with my feelings again. Luckily when you are 40 it’s easier. For me for sure. Of course there were tears and a pain in my chest – physical emanations of loneliness and rejection, but inner talks helped me. And hard trainings. When you have soft heart, you must have tough ass.
And then I started to think about using Tinder. I tried twice before but gave up quickly. I didn’t like the idea of swiping profiles with pics and written few words or lines. But maybe I just didn’t see anyone interesting and that was the reason I quitted both times. But third time lucky. And this third time lasted for about a year. Giving me many nice acquaintanceships, great dates with wonderful sex, one friendship and one very special, emotional relation. It made my self-esteem stronger and made me sure that younger men really love mature women.
– It turns me on that you like younger guys – texted 26 years old adrenaline’s hunter just before our first date.
– Always younger. And more and more younger – I admitted shamelessly, excited that he was 16 years younger than me. After few months such a gap didn’t make big impression on me. Now 20 years is normal.
Why are young men worth attention? Nowadays men in their 20s are mostly intelligent, cosmopolitan, have good taste and a lot of great ideas. They are masculine and will show you how much you turn them on very fast and in a nice way. So don’t worry that your body is not perfect, that something is sagging or there is maybe too much of you in some areas. Many young guys told me about their relations with older women. Sometimes gaps are like 25 years and they reminisce those ladies the best. 30 years old friend of mine summarized it like this:
“Communing with a women your age is completely different experience. You look at us differently, speak differently, feel differently, swallow in a different way.”
Some other guy, 22 years old, just after I shared an article about 11 reasons why men desire women in their 40s on my wall, wrote me a private message:
“12. They have class, from the very first moment you can see and feel they are extremely feminine in every aspect.”
So forget your peers and older men. Leave them for 20 years old girls. And open yourself to relations with younger men, at least 8-10 years younger. You will see – you will not regret it. Providing that you will not anticipate a relationship. A relationship is possible, I know marriages like this, but it will be better for you not to expect that a handsome one who looks at you passionately will be willing to introduce you as his girlfriend to his family and friends. Although I wish you (and myself) it with all my heart, I’m a realist…
Carpe diem, a Cat Woman!
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Napisane przez Aleksandra Laudańska
Absolwentka Wydziału Architektury i Urbanistyki PW (2001) z doświadczeniem w projektowaniu wnętrz, nadzorach wykonawczych oraz w pośrednictwie w obrocie nieruchomościami. Od 10 lat związana z mediami. Była redaktor naczelna miesięcznika wnętrzarskiego na tablety IN Magazyn. Założycielka agencji komunikacji marketingowej COUNICO. Aktualnie także redaktor naczelna wydawanego przez Urząd m.st. Warszawy „Warszawskiego Miesięcznika Seniorów #POKOLENIA”.
Trendwatcherka skoncentrowana na zagadnieniach długowieczności i aging society w ujęciu holistycznym (profilaktyka zdrowotna, aktywność zawodowa emerytów, zapobieganie wykluczeniu cyfrowemu, mieszkalnictwo, projektowanie uniwersalne, oldvertising). Propagatorka edukacji do długowieczności i autorskiej koncepcji smart aging.
Autorka bloga „Agefree – wolni od metryki” i koncepcji wolności od metryki, animatorka społeczności facebookowej #agefree. Laureatka głównej nagrody Siemens Future Living Award 2018 za futurystyczną wizję długowiecznego społeczeństwa i życia niezdeterminowanego metryką „Czaso(do)wolność”. Podczas FLA 2015 wyróżniona za projekt co-livingów dla seniorek.
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